The Mood
Attract Like a Bad Boy, Even If You’re Good

Attract Like a Bad Boy, Even If You’re Good

All In This One Detail…

There’s an old debate about whether women prefer a true Bad Boy or a Nice Guy. Of course, these terms are loaded…

“Bad boy” obviously sounds exciting and alluring, like a fun movie. “Nice guy” sounds impersonal, like something that might show up on the doorstep selling vacuums.

That’s all we need to say about this non-debate.

The truth lies in how women seek one thing above almost all else: authenticity. It’s why James Dean (bad boy) in a t-shirt and jeans smoking (omg!) will be chosen over a cheesy guy pretending to be cool in a fine suit.

James Dead in a leather jacket smoking a cigarette.
In-house publicity still, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons

Of course, we can ramp up another level by swapping the fine suit from the cheesy guy over to James. That gets to the heart of this article…

I’ve said before but I like to repeat it, because the human subconcsious has a problem believing it: You can have your cake and eat it too.

You can be a Bad Boy who knows how to have serious fun, yet on-the-level and trustworthy. It’s like James Dean in a designer suit.

Here’s the thing, when a guys throw some mystery mixed with seasoned-confidence (not cockiness), the same level of excitement is created that a rebel-without-a-cause brings, yet you can be an upstanding person.

Instead of being a wolf in sheep’s clothing, you can be a sheep in wolf’s clothing…

You can be moral and still enjoy the following “Bad Boy” ways:

“Be desireless. Be excellent. Be gone.” — The Tao of Steve

Women love the thrill of the chase as much as men. And they get annoyed with people chasing them just as much as men.

Choose swagger over pseudo-sincerity

Nobody is attracted to a person who is pretending to please them (deep down, we all know!). Just be cool (cool is a word that never goes out of style because it means detached yet fascinating, and to go full-on meta, cool is cool.).

Show the Wild Side, and live it

Why leave adventures to the Bad Actors? You can be exciting and whisk a woman off her feet, without leaving her half-naked and alone like a Bad Boy might. It’s that hint of danger yet sense of trust that is the most potent mix.

Other Bad Boys (and girls) Who Were Good:

Jesus: kicked over merchant tables in a temple, changed water to wine and enraged authorities enough to kill him — all in an effort to save humanity’s soul.

Dirty Harry: the bad boy cop was kicked off the police force but that didn’t stop him from busting the evil guys, without the limitations of a badged officer.

Joan of Arc: the precocious peasant girl trusted Divine Guidance over logic to lead the French army to a key victory in 1429. She effectively stopped the English from conquering France during the Hundred Years’ War. The “Bad Girl” is now a Catholic Saint.

Robin Hood: the wily robber thieved from the rich at night to bring joy and prosperity to the poor in the morning.

Rosa Parks: refused to give up her bus seat because of her race and was arrested for being “bad.” Later, she was hailed as “the mother of the civil rights movement.”

Vincent van Gogh: quit art school and headed to the south of France to paint and party in abandon, blowing off the trends of the day. Meanwhile, he invented a new trend and his “immersive” art exhibits are now the top selling shows in the world, bringing inspiration to people during a pandemic. (And surprise: he didn’t actually cut off his ear, but took the blame to save a friend).

I will go out on a limb to say the best way to be good is to be a bit “bad.”

That’s because “bad” means that you aren’t blindly following what was deemed “good” by someone else, but you’re looking at the universe through objective eyes, acting through a moral compass not tethered to society’s changing whims, but through time-tested spiritual insights and the deepest murmurings of your intuition.

And what will happen? You’ll become more authentic, and you’ll attract like a Bad Boy, even though you’re good.

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