The Date Was Going Nowhere Until the Guy Said This
A Single Act of Humility Won Her Over
On a steamy summer night on a rooftop restaurant overlooking Lake Michigan, I saw a middle-aged couple trying to find chemistry.
I could tell it was their first date, the awkward tosses of phrases to see how they landed. They disclosures of basic information like what one “does.”
I was dining with my wife at the bar next to them. And I was wishing them luck in a stormy sea of online romances full of ghostings and breadcrumbs that can lead to catfish. I knew others who made it though, and hoped they would.
I only heard bits and pieces as I wasn’t trying to listen, but when people are right next to you, it’s hard not to hear things. He was going on about what he does for a living, and I could tell they hadn’t really found a groove yet.
Then there was an awkward silence, and he said with complete vulnerability: “I’m probably boring you with all this…”
There was a sudden shift. She knew he knew how boring he sounded, that he was humble, honest and willing to admit it. That signaled to her it was time to let down her guard. She trusted him now.
Moments later, they switched to talking about music. They found they liked the same rock group, and that led to other rock groups and memories and songs. The chemistry was swirling and popping.
I was happy for them. It finally got so intense that he turned to the sweet pony-tailed bartender with an authoritative voice. “We’re ready for the check.”
The way he said it made it seem like he didn’t care about anyone’s feelings except his date, and that the faster he was able to get out of there with her, the better. He knew these windows, these hot moments, don’t last forever.
She seemed to like his determination, his focus only on them, his urgency which somehow sounded more dedicated than desperate. They disappeared together like Romeo and Juliet escaping a cruel world to be together in their own private heaven.
Here’s to hoping they find their heaven on earth … 🥂