The Mood
The Mother of Life-Hacks: Stop Living for Haters

The Mother of Life-Hacks: Stop Living for Haters

Free Your Mind, the Rest Will Follow

Young Vincent liked to paint, so he did a portrait of his friend. He liked to get abstract, using light and shadow to evoke emotion.

One friend loved the painting’s energy. “Brilliant.”

Another friend disagreed. “Weird.”

Which comment is Vincent going to remember more?

Psychologists say we often focus on negative criticism more than positive feedback. It may go back to our craving to fix problems, so we focus on “issues” rather than what’s going right.

While this works for fixing stuff, it’s not the best way to create.

If Vincent listens to the negative friend, he may abandon his creative edge and just go for realistic paintings, simply imitating photographs.

Luckily, we’re talking about Vincent van Gogh, who disregarded his haters and painted for his lovers. Some called his revolutionary use of light “weird,” preferring realism. He didn’t care.

Portrait of a postman in blue uniform with large beard.
The Postman, Joseph Roulin by Vincent van Gogh (1888; Arles, France). Public domain by Raw Pixel.

Now, Vincent’s paintings go for tens of millions of dollars, simply because he listened to his lovers, not his haters.

Lovers are anyone who supports or encourages us, or even someone who inspires us from a far through their own life and work.

We’re all Vincent.

We all have talents that we explored while young, but later on the skeptical mind can kick in, usually just echoing voices of haters’ past.

That’s a good moment to switch your inner ear to listening to lovers instead of haters. Focus on encouragement, not doubt.

And among the “lovers,” none matter more than your own inner voice (not the loud ego but the quiet voice of intuition). Tuning into that calm wisdom, work and life take on a new shine.

Haters are simply time-vampires.

The best we can do is maybe learn something from what a hater is saying, if we’re advanced in our detachment. But no need to waste time arguing. As the saying goes, shake the dust off our feet and move on.

We want to focus on our inner guidance, while learning from all sides along the way.

There’s also another type of hater: the lover in disguise. Sometimes they’re just envious and want to do a rug pull. Or, sometimes what you’re doing resonates so well with their heart, it may frighten their ego, always quick to go on the attack.

Either way, these types of haters are best handled with no reaction. Just continue doing what you’re doing regardless. They may come around when they realize you no longer care about their criticism.

Hater are like obstacles along the course of life. Step around them and keep going.

Live for the lovers instead…

When we focus on our lovers (those who support our ideas and goals) we start producing what we love for the people who matter.

Because it’s not haters we have to worry about, but the skeptical thoughts they create in us. That’s the true enemy hindering our adventures.

All it takes is to tuning into the voices of your lovers, then proceed. ❤️