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Use Hollywood’s “Secret of Detachment” for Your Success

Use Hollywood’s “Secret of Detachment” for Your Success

It’s Also the Key to Living Your Best Life

Have you ever liked someone, but the more you try to please them, the further you push them away?

And on the flip side, have you ever given someone their space, and soon found them knocking on your door, calling, or texting?

There’s a paradox to life, a way the universe self-balances. I think I finally cracked the code.

Here’s another example: the guy who buys lottery tickets weekly, desperate trying to win the big prize, watches in amazement as the guy who casually buys his first ticket wins big.

Or maybe this one hits closer to home: the writer who tries to go viral never does, until they stop trying and just writes for fun. And then, you guessed it: one of those just-for-fun articles takes off.

Hollywood knows the secret

I once read a fascinating piece about producers who hire writers for TV shows. If they find a great sit-com writer, for example, they don’t let that person write for their favorite show. Instead, they hire them to write for a similar show, one they aren’t passionately attached too.

There lies a key: attachment. When we’re attached to something, we don’t see it objectively, we try to control it. Our ego gets in the way and we stunt its growth.

When we’re detached, we can let something exist in its own, letting it grow naturally. And when it needs “food or water,” we’re there to provide.

“Attachment is the great fabricator of illusions; reality can be obtained only by someone who is detached. ”
― Simone Weil

Our Ego Doesn’t Know What’s Best for Us, But Our Intuition Does

The ego wants stuff and desperately tries to grab stuff, often pushing it further away. The ego is all about control.

The ego chases, success flees.

When our ego gets in the way, we overthink. It’s the opposite of the flow state where actions come naturally and what’s meant to happen is allowed to happen.

The key to our success is trust, letting go. When we embrace what is, life gets fun instead of a vain attempt to prop up the perfect world (which, by the way, doesn’t exist).

The ego gets stuff done, a real go-getter. But it’s also our more shallow side, usually craving instant gratification.

We also have an intuitive side, deeper than the ego’s “I-wants.” It’s the quiet side, offering flashes of brilliance often missed while the ego chatters.

But because the ego’s voice in our head is so loud, it’s usually the one calling the shots.

In an ideal state, our ego takes guidance from our intuition, which operates not through our two eyes but our “third eye,” the inner vision that imagines, dreams, creates and understands.

Yet, it’s usually the ego that takes action, pushing the wrong buttons, saying the wrong words or jumping to false conclusions.

With this in mind, I asked my ego to write out a listicle of how to chill itself out, so success can happen.

How To Let Success Happen On Its Own

  1. Focus on your actions, not outcomes. We can’t control outcomes, and trying is the best way to cheat ourselves out of success. Produce good works, speak good words, and the outcomes take care of themselves.
  2. Humility. A Buddhist metaphor tells how precious waters flow to the low valleys. When we’re humble, abundance and resources can flow toward us.
  3. Just Breathe. Stop to focus for a few minutes on your breathing, this quiets mental chatter to see situations more fully. This is when insights arrive.
  4. Patience. “All good things come to those who wait” is a cliche for good reason, it’s true.
  5. Prayer. It doesn’t get any more powerful than turning to our Higher Source for guidance, it also elevates you from the ego’s futile voice. Epiphanies await.
  6. Find the humor in things. Sometimes you just have to laugh. The definition of a comedy is that it has a happy ending. Be funny, it ends well.
  7. Do nothing (use time). See how an idea matures before acting on it. Or, for the advanced, meditate.
  8. Stay detached. You’ll be amazed how “good luck” gravitates toward someone who is at peace with things as they are, unattached to outcomes.
  9. Be selfless. Focusing only on yourself is the quickest way to sabotage yourself. Think how words and choices affect others. Because in the end, the more we benefit others, the more we benefit ourselves.

Lovers of letters take note: the self-destructive ego can be transformed by two simple letters. Simply add an “L” and a “T” to the word EGO for the winning formula: LET GO.