When Our Phones Scare the Sh*t Out of Us…
# 3: Someone starts talking in your pocket.
If someone from 100 years ago stepped into our time, no doubt they’d be in awe of the magical wonders that fit in our pockets.
Just 30 years ago it was a fantasy just to have a miniature video-phone, not to mention a cinema, messaging and navigation system and so much more.
Funny enough, we just call them “phones.”
But they’ve become like an extension of our own bodies. We rarely go anywhere without them. And with something we depend upon so heavily — that does so many things — it’s no wonder they often scare the crap out of us.
#1 Your heart skips a beat, “Where’s my phone.”
You reach for your trusty phone, but it’s missing. Maybe you’re in your car and you start to panic, like you left it in a store, or it fell out of your pocket, and now you imagine some hacker using it to send bitcoin to their wallet…
Then you see it sitting in the passenger seat. Oh yeah…
#2 Your phone almost falls into water.
Maybe you’re somewhere romantic getting a sunset selfie as you wade in the water, but, oops … you stub your toe on an underwater rock. As your phone starts to slip out of your hand, you remember it’s water-resistant, not waterproof.
But you catch it, this time…
#3 Someone starts speaking in your pocket.
Once, a woman started speaking in my pocket. “Hello? Hello?” she said. “Hmm… If you’re talking, you’re muted…”
I pulled my phone out of my pocket and beheld a masked woman speaking directly to me on video. I finally realized it was an old friend (on Messenger) and we share a quick laugh as I explain that somehow I butt-dialed her (or was that a butt-video?).
In another episode, I knew a woman who entered a quiet church and suddenly a Taco Bell commercial started blaring out of her phone.
Of course, there was a priest right behind her (Murphy’s Law). Apparently, he was cool about it though, and got the humor.
Who knows what triggered it, these things just happen with “phones”…
#4 Your phone is always listening to you.
Maybe you’re just watching TV or reading a book, and suddenly your phone says something like, “Sorry, I can’t help you with that.”
You’re like, What the hell, Siri? (or Google, doesn’t matter).
You start to wonder what else your phone listening to… Sex?
Then you remember, phones are always listening so they can respond to “Hey Siri” or “Hey Google.”
Oh man, that’s scaaary!!!
Anything can happen on your phone, and will…
The drunk text from an ex… The boss ringing at weird hours… Unwanted notifications. Bad news from media outlets spoon fed like sugar.
Now emails are on phones too… And calls from “Suspected Spam,” or worse, one gets through and is spam.
Dang, you might think, what to do?
Turn the damn thing off for awhile and take a walk?
Naaah… Too radical.
Then you hear your phone “Chime…” It speaks: “You’ve just been tagged in a post by [some-person-you’re-avoiding].
You finally say, “That’s it! Hey Siri, how do you turn off?”
Phone: “Okay, I found this on the Web for how you turn off. Check it out.” (actual response).
Sigh… Scroll… Repeat.
ps: take that walk 🌲 you’ll remember what you like about your phone.