Where Have All The Good Men Gone?
Or Could They Be Closer Than You Think?
I just heard another passionate account of a woman enraged with the conduct of a random guy who hit on her after she posted a selfie on her feed.
While most men don’t mind getting randomly hit on by a woman, the reverse is usually not true (heads up, guys). Because of the bad behavior of men over millions of years, getting hit on randomly can seem rude or worse.
However, even though women have more equal rights than ever, many are still playing a passive game, waiting for men to prove themselves (usually in texts ?), waiting for men to make the first move.
And yet, Modern Man is completely confused by Modern Woman (“She said she wants to be the object of my affection, but not seen an an object… What do I do?”).
With all these sophisticated dating sites filtering for perfect matches, and our devices filled with social apps and inspiring reads, you’d think that…
Oh, wait…
Maybe that has something to do with it.
Maybe we’re still adjusting to life with this new limb (the cellphone).
Hmm… First, let’s freely admit people will do things online they’d never do in person (like randomly hitting on someone using suggestive language).
But it’s goes deeper…
Where Have All the Men (good or not) Gone?
The answer is the same place all the women went: into the virtual vortex of ghosting and filtered selfies that don’t help when it comes to real-life interaction.
It’s not the man’s fault, it’s not the women’s fault. It has nothing to do with gender. We all have a “male” and “female” brain hemispheres within us, we are all capable of accepting or rejecting our yin-yang traits that balance us.
So, something is still off…
Why have 80 percent of Millennial’s been ghosted at some point?
Why are there 10 million more singles today that they were 10 years ago?
Sure, many choose the single status happily, but the record revenue of dating apps shows many more are looking. Men are still very relevant to them. Finding a good man is a true desire.
So, Where Have All the “Good” Men Gone?
They are on mountains roaming, in lakes swimming, sky’s diving, library’s reading, on fields and courts playing, in houses of worship praying, in breweries drinking, walking on the grass thinking and discussing the nature of the universe.
Yeah, they have phones nearby, but they’re often silenced. They know how to break free enough to stay human.
So, if modern times and shifting gender roles are leaving many men confused, and lifetimes of oppression have left many women suspicious, it seems the last thing we want to do is crystalize these divisions in a way only digital media can do.
Maybe it’s time to get out more…
They’re “Out There”
It’s crazy how when you see people in real life how different things can be, how you can get a vibe without needing an emoji, how can you can sense someone’s humanness, how you see less the “gender” or “race” or that perfect profile pic…
But our devices aren’t all bad. They educate, inspire and connect us in ways never thought possible. As for dating apps, Millennial marriages are lasting longer than ever, so maybe those filters have helped.
For dudes, if you do see a woman you like, a “Hello” usually suffices. Less is more.
For the women, studies show you gain a huge advantage when looking for a man if you make the first move, meaning now’s the time to wield newfound powers.
So, where have all the good men (and women) gone? Maybe they were nearby all along, strolling in the park instead of scrolling in the dark.
https://medium.com/the-mood/why-are-so-many-good-women-single-ed0ace9eab00
https://medium.com/the-mood/why-are-so-many-good-women-single-ed0ace9eab00